Monday, May 9, 2011

The road to hell

Yeah, so I've totally dropped the ball on the whole 90 in 90 thing. It seemed so easy at the time; just post once a day for there months. How hard can that be? Apparently very hard. I had good intentions, but as "they" say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Part of it (part?) is due to my personal nuttiness. I don't like typing on the lap top, I don't want to spend too much time blogging at work, and I don't make the time to get on the desktop computer upstairs. So, I don't do it at all. Not that anyone really noticed which begs the question, "Why am I blogging to begin with?". I don't really know except that I enjoy writing. Does something written need to be read?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Noun: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

It has been suggested in some quarters that I take a more compassionate approach to step parenting. On one level, being more compassionate won't be too hard. If I am brutally honest, I have little sympathy at all for K
, so there's plenty of room for being more conscious of her suffering and desiring to alleviate it. The hard part for me is to get past the visceral disdain she has for me, and her sheer disgust at my presence.

On another level I have been very compassionate, though my desire to alleviate her suffering through order and discipline is clearly not working. I cannot break her defiant spirit to reveal the loving child. The walls of anger need to chipped away at with a sculptors chisel rather than smashed with a wrecking ball. Time to get on with sculpting and leave the wrecking behind.

It is not me, but the Father within, who does the work.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I know, you're all wondering where I've been. I promise you 90 posts in 90 days and I don't even make it a full week. Just remember, I told you up front I may miss a day or two here and there and double up. So have no fear, faithful readers, I will complete my 90 in 90. I know how much it means to all of you... [insert chirping crickets here]

On to cake. It's quite timely that this past Sunday Scribblings prompt was"Cake"; my son and I went to see the band Cake in concert a few weekends ago. I enjoy their music very much and one song in particular, The Distance. The refrain of "He's going the distance, he's going for speed" is relevant for me as I think about triathlon. I got into this sport with a very specific goal of doing an Ironman while I'm 50 years old. I've been working at this for over three years. Longer really, if you factor in that first moment many moons ago when I thought, "I'd like to do that someday." "Someday" will be July 24 2011, and while working towards that goal I've trained and raced my way to longer distance and faster finishes.

Now, here's where distance and speed get really interesting. My last triathlon was a smallish sprint distance race where I took 3rd place in my age group, qualifying me for an award. The competitive side of me (yeah, ok, that's every side of me) is very excited by this and sees the potential for actually taking 1st place in my age group in some of these shorter races. I doubt I could ever finish that well in longer distances but I think I can go pretty fast in a short race for a guy my age. So there's where the gotcha is; do I go for distance or do I go for speed? Of course I'm 100% focused on and committed to Ironman, but after that's done.......