I decided to do something a bit different for 52 Projects this week. I'll admit that I didn't have much planned before Friday or so, and that I've not been as excited as I was a few weeks ago. With the warmer weather here, K-Dog playing softbal, and my training picking up I haven't been planning properly and the last couple of weeks were sort of fly by the seat of my pants. I will say, though, that I noted in my very first 52 Projects post that some of my projects would be last minute wing it kind of things. I will do better moving forward because I really do think this is a great idea and I want to be a part of it, and be an active, present, and thoughtful part of it.
Which brings us to this week. As some may know, Jane and I have been church shopping. I have been a member for over 20 years of a Unity church, which is part of the Association of Unity Churches and the Unity School of Christianity. It is a scripture based Christian church that digs deeply into the metaphysics of the Bible. Charles and Myrtle Fillmore founded the Unity movement in the late 1800's and it's been going strong ever since.
The church I belonged to was in Philadelphia, then moved to NJ. My ex wife and I eventually moved to NJ too. We were very involved there and raised our kids there. I've served on the Board of Directors, acted as Ministry Head for various ministries, and had a strong commitment to the Church. To make a long story short, as years went by, I felt less and less fulfilled there. I stopped going as often, especially after my marriage ended. My ex still went (she still does) and it was awkward at times. She and I had been a strong couple there and it was hard for us, and hard for others to see us apart.
Anyway, fast forward to now. I live about 22 miles away and it takes a good 45 minutes to get there. Getting home is even worse, trying to get across the city on a Sunday afternoon. Jane and I have been several times (the Senior Minister married us) but it just doesn't feel like home for either of us. There is much good there, and maybe if it were closer there wouldn't be as much of an issue. But, maybe not. Even when I was single and lived much closer I didn't go regularly. It no longer felt like home.
So... we've been shopping, and today we went to the Main Line Unitarian Church, part of the Universalist Unitarian movement. We went to a different Unitarian chrch a few weeks ago but weren't too crazy about it. This one felt much better and we will be going back.
Here's the 52 Projects part; I actually engaged with other people there. I was open with them and talked about myself. I even introduced myself to the Senior Minister. In our previous shopping experiences I've pretty much kept to myself and didn't reach out or talk with others unless spoken to, and then it was just superficial pleasantries. This time I asked questions, talked about my previous church experiences, even shared with one woman that I have a 12 step background. I never talk about that. If felt really good to put myself out there and be open to a new experience. I'm not sure that this will be my new church home but it's the closest we've come so far. I'll keep you posted :)
Ok, this is freaky; a very good friend of mine from Unity (the old church) just called to check in on me. How weird is that???
Me
- MrB
- She said to give 'em something personal. Hmmm... Seeker, husband, father, step father, brother, triathlete, senior manager, IP engineer, actor, wanna be singer, lover to the most magnificent woman in the world.
4 comments:
I love the church shopping process with you! We'll know it when we find it.
Finding the right church is definitely not easy. I used to go to this one church because the priest was engaging and a very good person. When they relocated things went south fast for me and have not gone to church in years now. When I became pregnant, my husband and I talked about trying to find a church (but we are different religion) so it is not easy, but we are not fighting about it either. We are trying to expose our daughter to both doctrines and she can pick one, both or neither. I hope you can find your church!
Wow, MtB, even when you wing it, you come up with something big. Opening up and engaging strangers the way you did is HUGE. You took a big leap of faith (no pun intended) and showed real vulnerability. As someone who only really does that when I travel, I know that was a big step. It's so much easier to just talk with the one you're with than to take a chance. But look at the payoff. Great job! And also, thanks for being so open and forthcoming with the post -- you're doing the same thing with us -- opening up about intimate matters. Thanks for showing this trust in us.
i can't imagine, i have been very lucky to have gone to the right church every time i moved. it's nice to have a home.
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